by Dan Sanders
The prompt for this week was “Resignation Letters” and I started writing a goof on the note the lion hunting dentist wrote to his patients after his office was closed, but I couldn’t get through it. I might finish it. I think it’s funny when people pretend they didn’t know something they did was wrong. If I finish I’ll post it here on a non-sunday.
But, resignation letters made me think of this. It was something I wrote for my wife when we were each bored at work. I like it a lot, and never know what to do with all the old things I’ve written.
I’m sorry about this but I’m not going to be able to make it in today. There have been some personal issues here at home that I need to attend to.
Per Protocol, you should call the office two hours prior to any absence so we can plan the day accordingly. Also, it is important to speak to myself, or Eric, on the phone before we can allow an absence. I can’t ask for specifics, but we have the teleconference with the Bateman people at noon. Please, please come in if you can, if only for an hour. We need you to present the data on the GDS research. Please call me.
I’m sorry, I won’t be able to call. And I wont be able to get into the office until after 4pm. My roommate gets back at 3pm and I can maybe head in after that. I’m really sorry about this, but Amber (roommate) and I were talking and we were both trying to think of who was in that movie “Thank You for Smoking” and it came to us at the same time and and we both shouted “AARON ECKHART!” and she said “JINX” and then I couldn’t talk and she said she wasn’t going to say my name unless I bought her a coke, but that’s crazy, she’s crazy. I’m not going to buy her a coke. She drinks all the juice I bring into this house all the time. I do the shopping, not her. So I’m not buying her something on top of all the stuff that I buy for me that she drinks anyway. AHHH, sorry, this isn’t work related and none of your concern. But I’m sorry, you can see how I’m stuck. I can’t talk.
Tell Eric the report is on my desk, it’s really straightforward the numbers haven’t changed much since last year when he did it. The Q3 numbers are slightly off because they changed their accounting practices midstream. I’ve adjusted them where I could, but they should be aware of this, and I’ve marked the alterations on the chart on page fifteen. They should be fine, Alan at Bateman is really cool about everything.
– I just called you on the phone and left a message on your machine saying your name, please come in, this is ridiculous.
Can’t do it. She has to say my name. I’d love to come in, I really would, but she’s really a stickler about the rules. One time we played scrabble and I thought I was going to have to call the police. The Police, Janine.
Thanks for understanding.
Me again – We’ve texted back and forth and Amber’s decided that she’s not going to say my name but doesn’t want me to be fired because I help with the rent. She’s going to come in and give my GDS presentation. She’s on her way now. If you go down to the lobby in a half hour or so you’ll see her. She’ll be the one with the ferret.
You’re fired! JINX!
next week’s prompt: Backyard Koi